A long overdue update

I feel almost like a stranger walking into this account.  It has been four years since I posted an update and much has changed. Our biggest news currently is that after living in Boston for nearly 20 years, we decided to uproot and move to Batesville, Indiana a few months ago. We now live right next door to my mom and down the street from my sister and her family.  Even though we've talked about moving here for years, it wasn't until the house next to my mom came up for sale that we really actually considered the possibility of moving. Initially, I said no. Kurt said no. Our kids said no. We decided to stay in Boston. But one by one, each one of us had our hearts and minds turned back to Indiana. After many family meetings and discussions and prayers and fasts, we finally decided yes. And everything fell into place so quickly, it just felt like the universe had been waiting for us to make that decision :). 

Predictably, the move has been hard. We desperately miss our Boston friends who very much feel like family. Beyond the normal sting of losing the physical proximity of our friend-family, there's also the loss of having people around who knew and loved Madi and who cradled us through Frederick's loss.  I miss having people who know when our hard days are, or know what I mean if I show up somewhere with red eyes and say, "it was a hard Madi day."  I also miss driving past the houses and parks and landmarks that hold so many wonderful memories of our children growing up. 

But while Boston held so many wonderful memories of our kids, it also held difficult ones as well.  Being here in a place that is largely free of bad memories of Madi and Frederick has freed me to remember laughter and play without the hard stuff like seizures, ambulances, or hospital equipment.  This is the first year in the last seven years that I have been able to hang Christmas ornaments without crying, or wake kids in the morning without being reminded of the children I couldn't wake up. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can breathe a deep, cleansing, healing breath, taking a slight respite from the overwhelming grief that has hung over us for all these years.  It's still there, just not as heavy. 

And with the move away from our friend-family, we also moved TO family and friends I grew up with, which has been a new kind of comfort. I love going on walks with my mom and my sister most days, watching the kids (and pets) bop from house to house, and doing family dinners every week.  Our church congregation here has welcomed us with open arms and I am soaking in the sincerity and humility of the people in my new community.   

Pressing the reset button has been good for all of us.  This is where I insert the stereotypical holiday family update, embellishing all the good moments and omitting all the bad.  I know it goes without saying, but there have also been so many struggles and tears sprinkled between the high moments. These are just the things I want to remember. 

Kurt - He's still the COO for AmWell and is still working remotely. He got a major "office" upgrade with the move and now spends most of his day looking out over the serene lake in our backyard.   He sees wildlife like blue herons and bald eagles while he's doing Zoom meetings, and he often lulls both client and wildlife to sleep with his impressive pan flute skills.  Well maybe the pan flute is an extra embellishment, but man, I wish it were true.  Goodness knows he could use them with the teen boys he was asked to help with at church. :)

Max- 17, senior. He loves school here, and quickly settled in with a group of friends who feel like they have been friends for years.  He dual-enrolled in several classes at the local community college so he will finish high school with one year of college done, which he's thrilled about.  Indiana mandates every student have a work-based learning experience before graduating, so Max has been helping at "Spanky's ATV repair," dissembling motors and learning the mechanics of engines.  He is also working about 20 hours a week at Skyline Chili, a local delicacy and a must-try if you come to visit.  We will also give you a precautionary Immodium tablet to mitigate the effects of said chili. 

Becca- 16, sophomore.  She sings and dances nearly everyday in her school competitive show choir. She enrolled in a music, dance, theater cohort at University of Cincinnati's College Conservatory of Music (CCM) and has been taking classes from former Broadway performers.  Sadly, that will end with the semester in order to accomodate the demands of the show choir (who is gunning for state after narrowly missing it last year).  She got a lead role in the school play, "Radium Girls" and absolutely loved the whole experience. She has found some really wonderful friends who have helped her quickly acclimate to life in Batesville.  We have been worried about her getting involved in the competitive show choir gang scene here, but luckily she has a pan-flute-wielding father to help defend her honor. 

William - 12, 6th grade.  He dove headfirst into tennis, band, theater, Academic team, Rube Goldberg club, and was elected to the student council.  He is looking forward to track and field in the Spring.  He landed the role of Principal Duvall in his school's production of "Mean Girls, Jr." this fall and - in my unbiased opinion - stole the show.  He loves having his cousins close by, but will still play Roblox with them in person...on computers.  He grew about three inches this year and is reveling in being the same height as Becca.  

Anna - 9, 4th grade.  She is marinating in dance right now.  She's on her school dance team, "The Minidogs" (the mascot is a bulldog), and is taking three ballet classes, one in town and two at CCM. She's in the Cincinnati Conservatory's "mini" performing company and will be a bon bon in the Nutcracker this weekend. She has made some good friends here, one of whom raises livestock, so Anna is hoping she might get to help them bottlefeed their baby cows soon. 

Me (Jenn) - This has been a red letter year for me.  In 2023, I was admitted to the Harvard Graduate School of Education for a Master's program in Human Development and Education.  I graduated just before we moved to Indiana.  I did a concentration in early childhood and earned a child protection certificate from the Harvard School of Public Health in order to better understand the effects of trauma on children's development and education. After taking an impactful Children's Literature class and watching a dear friend and classmate start her career in children's book-writing (shout out to Megan Palmer), I realized I could make a meaningful contribution to the field of trauma-informed/healing-centered education through writing. I'm now on the prowl for an agent willing to promote me, my seven freshly-written picture books, and my fledgling young adult novel. While this job may be the most unstructured, solitary, and competitive choice I could have made, I'm determined to at least try to get published before I completely abandon hope. My big literary highlight this year was writing a case study for the Harvard Graduate School of Education and seeing it debut in a class this fall.  Very surreal!  In Indiana, I'm also loving working with the teen girls at church.  

We are thinking about all of you, both new and old friends this year.  We hope that you can feel the hand of the divine delivering peace and hope this season and in the new year.