Still doing great

Madi is continuing to heal really well.  She cannot wait go up and down the stairs without a "spotter" (me, too!), but we need to sign off with the doctor first.  She was getting bored yesterday, so I encouraged her to catch up on her schoolwork.  You can imagine how that went over after several missed weeks at school. :)  Grandma swooped in and took her to the toy store (in her jammies and a fedora) and spoiled her with craft supplies and toys :).  She's been doing sticker by number books, coloring, and doing watercolors and legos, all while listening to audiobooks, of course (though she has replaced her evening audiobook with a meditation soundtrack my sister brought us in the ICU. She says she sleeps much better).  Emotionally, she seems to be back to normal, resilient, happy self. I was filling out a survey about our time at Boston Children's Hospital this morning and she said, "Mom, make sure you say how wonderful and kind all the nurses were."  And when we were talking about the kids we saw at the hospital and how sad it is that children have to go through such difficult trials, she said, "well, I guess if you don't go through trials, you can't see the good in life."  Very wise words from an 11 year old.  It is good for my mama heart to see her back to her bubbly, talkative self again. It is hard to remember that she is still sick when she acts so healthy.  

The kids have all been adjusting to all this.  I think they sometimes pick up on my nervousness and fear (why is that so hard to shake????) and don't quite know how to respond.  They are also overtired from vacation, so we have had lots of whining and crying; but, we have also had lots of laughing and fun, too, so I'm hoping it will balance things out.  My mom is here and just makes everything run more smoothly.  This morning she played with a moody, clingy Anna so I could write this blog post. I love her and have no idea where she gets all her energy.

Some of my kids have been having nightmares (not since all this happened, more since we moved into our new house a month ago).   They come to our bedroom, terrified, in the middle of the night and never want to talk about the dream.  It's still too fresh and scary.  They just want comfort and rest and then they will tell me everything in the morning.  Since I often feel lately like I'm living my worst nightmare, I can really relate to this feeling.  That is how I feel - I just want comfort and rest.  So I'm grateful to everyone for being so respectful of our time together as a family.  Thank you for texting and calling before you come and for keeping visits short. Thank you for checking in to see how we are doing, but not pressuring me to talk about all of this.  It is still so fresh and scary.  We are all trying to learn how to live through the uncertainty and not let it get us down.  I have been limiting our visitors to about one or two a day.  It's very draining for all of us emotionally (even wonderful and uplifting visits), so please, please do not be offended if I ask to reschedule a visit to another day.  And again, thank you to everyone for your kind emails and notes.  I hope to be able to respond to all of them soon.